图片来自：loki-seto
自己和自己拔河，
踌躇犹豫间，
不置可否。
想要与不要，
挣扎与解脱，
无法选择。
最后，绳子断了，
答案？
我想知道。
2008年11月21日星期五
2008年11月19日星期三
出發
图片来自：retrolex
我要到远方去，
必须经过那茂密阴暗的森林，
不过不要紧，
因为我要离开这里。
我要到远方去，
带备行装出发到森林里，
如预料的，里面漆黑一片，
不过不要紧，
很快就会离开这座森林。
我要到远方去，
周遭都被黑暗包围着，
倾耳聆听，只有虫鸣鸟叫声，
不过不要紧，
很快就会迎来光明。
我要到远方去，
过了许久，我还是呆在黑暗里，
不晓得光明何时来迎接我，
不过不要紧，
因为我已经离开我原本的位置。
2008年11月7日星期五
奧巴馬勝利宣言
奥巴马（Barack Obama）当选总统，美国人很激动，也有很多人不喜欢，激进分子现在可能还会筹谋暗杀行动。许多外国人也很关注这件事，也有的觉得不关自己事，因为离自己国家太遥远。我也没怎么注意，不过奥巴马在美国时间11月4日当晚的胜利宣言，我看了后深感佩服。这里我特地放上当天的录影节录，全程演讲音频和整篇演讲稿，演讲稿粗体部分是我喜欢的部分。
音频
演讲稿
If there is anyone out there who still doubts that America is a place where all things are possible; who still wonders if the dream of our founders is alive in our time; who still questions the power of our democracy, tonight is your answer.
It's the answer told by lines that stretched around schools and churches in numbers this nation has never seen; by people who waited three hours and four hours, many for the very first time in their lives, because they believed that this time must be different; that their voice could be that difference.
It's the answer spoken by young and old, rich and poor, Democrat and Republican, black, white, Latino, Asian, Native American, gay, straight, disabled and not disabled - Americans who sent a message to the world that we have never been a collection of Red States and Blue States: we are, and always will be, the United States of America.
It's the answer that led those who have been told for so long by so many to be cynical, and fearful, and doubtful of what we can achieve to put their hands on the arc of history and bend it once more toward the hope of a better day.
It's been a long time coming, but tonight, because of what we did on this day, in this election, at this defining moment, change has come to America.
I just received a very gracious call from Senator McCain. He fought long and hard in this campaign, and he's fought even longer and harder for the country he loves. He has endured sacrifices for America that most of us cannot begin to imagine, and we are better off for the service rendered by this brave and selfless leader. I congratulate him and Governor Palin for all they have achieved, and I look forward to working with them to renew this nation's promise in the months ahead.
I want to thank my partner in this journey, a man who campaigned from his heart and spoke for the men and women he grew up with on the streets of Scranton and rode with on that train home to Delaware, the Vice President-elect of the United States, Joe Biden.
I would not be standing here tonight without the unyielding support of my best friend for the last sixteen years, the rock of our family and the love of my life, our nation's next First Lady, Michelle Obama. Sasha and Malia, I love you both so much, and you have earned the new puppy that's coming with us to the White House. And while she's no longer with us, I know my grandmother is watching, along with the family that made me who I am. I miss them tonight, and know that my debt to them is beyond measure.
To my campaign manager David Plouffe, my chief strategist David Axelrod, and the best campaign team ever assembled in the history of politics - you made this happen, and I am forever grateful for what you've sacrificed to get it done.
But above all, I will never forget who this victory truly belongs to - it belongs to you.
I was never the likeliest candidate for this office. We didn't start with much money or many endorsements. Our campaign was not hatched in the halls of Washington - it began in the backyards of Des Moines and the living rooms of Concord and the front porches of Charleston.
It was built by working men and women who dug into what little savings they had to give five dollars and ten dollars and twenty dollars to this cause. It grew strength from the young people who rejected the myth of their generation's apathy; who left their homes and their families for jobs that offered little pay and less sleep; from the not-so-young people who braved the bitter cold and scorching heat to knock on the doors of perfect strangers; from the millions of Americans who volunteered, and organized, and proved that more than two centuries later, a government of the people, by the people and for the people has not perished from this Earth. This is your victory.
I know you didn't do this just to win an election and I know you didn't do it for me. You did it because you understand the enormity of the task that lies ahead. For even as we celebrate tonight, we know the challenges that tomorrow will bring are the greatest of our lifetime - two wars, a planet in peril, the worst financial crisis in a century. Even as we stand here tonight, we know there are brave Americans waking up in the deserts of Iraq and the mountains of Afghanistan to risk their lives for us. There are mothers and fathers who will lie awake after their children fall asleep and wonder how they'll make the mortgage, or pay their doctor's bills, or save enough for college. There is new energy to harness and new jobs to be created; new schools to build and threats to meet and alliances to repair.
The road ahead will be long. Our climb will be steep. We may not get there in one year or even one term, but America - I have never been more hopeful than I am tonight that we will get there.I promise you - we as a people will get there.
There will be setbacks and false starts. There are many who won't agree with every decision or policy I make as President, and we know that government can't solve every problem. But I will always be honest with you about the challenges we face. I will listen to you, especially when we disagree. And above all, I will ask you join in the work of remaking this nation the only way it's been done in America for two-hundred and twenty-one years - block by block, brick by brick, calloused hand by calloused hand.
What began twenty-one months ago in the depths of winter must not end on this autumn night. This victory alone is not the change we seek - it is only the chance for us to make that change. And that cannot happen if we go back to the way things were. It cannot happen without you.
So let us summon a new spirit of patriotism; of service and responsibility where each of us resolves to pitch in and work harder and look after not only ourselves, but each other. Let us remember that if this financial crisis taught us anything, it's that we cannot have a thriving Wall Street while Main Street suffers - in this country, we rise or fall as one nation; as one people.
Let us resist the temptation to fall back on the same partisanship and pettiness and immaturity that has poisoned our politics for so long. Let us remember that it was a man from this state who first carried the banner of the Republican Party to the White House - a party founded on the values of self-reliance, individual liberty, and national unity. Those are values we all share, and while the Democratic Party has won a great victory tonight, we do so with a measure of humility and determination to heal the divides that have held back our progress. As Lincoln said to a nation far more divided than ours, "We are not enemies, but friends...though passion may have strained it must not break our bonds of affection." And to those Americans whose support I have yet to earn - I may not have won your vote, but I hear your voices, I need your help, and I will be your President too.
And to all those watching tonight from beyond our shores, from parliaments and palaces to those who are huddled around radios in the forgotten corners of our world - our stories are singular, but our destiny is shared, and a new dawn of American leadership is at hand. To those who would tear this world down - we will defeat you. To those who seek peace and security - we support you. And to all those who have wondered if America's beacon still burns as bright - tonight we proved once more that the true strength of our nation comes not from our the might of our arms or the scale of our wealth, but from the enduring power of our ideals: democracy, liberty, opportunity, and unyielding hope.
For that is the true genius of America - that America can change. Our union can be perfected. And what we have already achieved gives us hope for what we can and must achieve tomorrow.
This election had many firsts and many stories that will be told for generations. But one that's on my mind tonight is about a woman who cast her ballot in Atlanta. She's a lot like the millions of others who stood in line to make their voice heard in this election except for one thing - Ann Nixon Cooper is 106 years old.
She was born just a generation past slavery; a time when there were no cars on the road or planes in the sky; when someone like her couldn't vote for two reasons - because she was a woman and because of the color of her skin.
And tonight, I think about all that she's seen throughout her century in America - the heartache and the hope; the struggle and the progress; the times we were told that we can't, and the people who pressed on with that American creed: Yes we can.
At a time when women's voices were silenced and their hopes dismissed, she lived to see them stand up and speak out and reach for the ballot. Yes we can.
When there was despair in the dust bowl and depression across the land, she saw a nation conquer fear itself with a New Deal, new jobs and a new sense of common purpose. Yes we can.
When the bombs fell on our harbor and tyranny threatened the world, she was there to witness a generation rise to greatness and a democracy was saved. Yes we can.
She was there for the buses in Montgomery, the hoses in Birmingham, a bridge in Selma, and a preacher from Atlanta who told a people that "We Shall Overcome." Yes we can.
A man touched down on the moon, a wall came down in Berlin, a world was connected by our own science and imagination. And this year, in this election, she touched her finger to a screen, and cast her vote, because after 106 years in America, through the best of times and the darkest of hours, she knows how America can change. Yes we can.
America, we have come so far. We have seen so much. But there is so much more to do. So tonight, let us ask ourselves - if our children should live to see the next century; if my daughters should be so lucky to live as long as Ann Nixon Cooper, what change will they see? What progress will we have made?
This is our chance to answer that call. This is our moment. This is our time - to put our people back to work and open doors of opportunity for our kids; to restore prosperity and promote the cause of peace; to reclaim the American Dream and reaffirm that fundamental truth - that out of many, we are one; that while we breathe, we hope, and where we are met with cynicism, and doubt, and those who tell us that we can't, we will respond with that timeless creed that sums up the spirit of a people:
Yes We Can. Thank you, God bless you, and may God Bless the United States of America.
这不是结束，真正的革命才正要开始！
视频和音频来自： guardian.co.uk
演讲稿来自：RealClearPolitics
2008年11月5日星期三
又長一歲!
今天是我一年一度的生日，过得还不错。(^ ~ ^)
哈哈！不过还真是的，今年收到的礼物都和动漫有关，难道我在朋友群里形象这么鲜明？我不是御宅族啦~！只是，有点那么喜欢这些而已。对！一点点，哈哈！(^ O ^)a 我还有很多别的东西都喜欢的。(> ~ <) 不过，礼物我很喜欢，不管你们送什么我也是会喜欢的啦！ 今天一天都过得很普通，就和平时一样，不过心情不错，我想这样就是很好的一天了。今天的一天：
- 一大早去上学
- 和朋友用午餐，吹蜡烛，吃蛋糕
- 回家，拆生日礼物 囧|||
- 剪头发 （现在感觉清爽多了）
- 读书 （明天考试 T_T）
- 看戏
- 睡觉
- 吃饭，再看戏，嘻！
- 写部落格 （就是现在）
然后，等下我就去睡了。
嗯，虽然生日愿望不宜讲出来，不过还是要讲，看到的要帮我物色物色，哈哈！
“希望找到他爱我，我也爱他的人。”就是这个，很想谈恋爱，都讲到出面了。 (> _ <)
除了这个，我也打算从今天起“重新做人”。一直都浪费了许多时间，自己什么都没做，所以决定积极一点，至少也要为自己做点什么吧！自己又不是没能力，只要想做一定可以做到！身边的朋友，记得要不时督促我哦！
还有就是快乐。这个，我还不能完全做到，我也不想逼自己，那还更辛苦。我就坦白一点说吧！我爸的事，我还未放下，这是其中一个原因。另一个就是，环境并不允许我这样做。到底是面对还是逃避都很痛苦，这样人生还真悲哀。所以，要走出来就要靠自己，我有很强的生命意识，绝对会努力的！
最后，用一句自己最爱拿来祝福别人的祝词作为结语。
祝： 拥有一个美丽人生！
2008年11月4日星期二
生日文終：謊言
一直都有看我的部落格，或把我这些生日文看完的朋友，有没有发现我很多想法都自相矛盾？我不能否定说我其中一个想法是真的，而相对的都是假的；而我也不能说这全都是真，或全都是假。应该是说，它们真的是我的想法，只不过不是我“真正的想法”罢了。
因为，这些想法都被一个名叫语言的东西操控了。语言的力量让我能顺利的表达自己，把想法用文字传输出去，然后别人就会接收到这些符号背后的意思。如果，世上完全没有出现语言这种东西，那还真难想象人们是如何沟通，还是说还进化得成吗？的确，通过语言的沟通是必不可少兼能做到建立关系互相了解的作用，可是另一方面这也是引起纷争造成误解的原因；有时，它也根本不会带来什么，只是一些无聊没意思的话语。
只不过，无论它是怎么一回事，语言的最终目的就是修饰着真意的虚假存在。任何语言一出口都是在修饰着我们还有自身的想法，无论那个人说话有多直截了当。有人说，语言是一种学问。没错，就好像屋子需要装修，而我们就用语言来包装自己。想法经由大脑转变成文字输出，这中间的时间足以让文字偏离本意。说实在的，又有几个人能把想的和说的原原本本的呈现出来？没办法把想法说清楚、说漏了、说过了、说得好、说得差；不管懂得运用语言还是不懂，我们都不能把最真实的想法铺张开来让大家看。况且，有时本意也是假的？
当思维在头脑中进行时，有时它就不是完全的纯真实成分，人们也会在头脑中自己骗自己。或者说，因为特别状况或事情和预想的不同，人们就会在潜意识里建构和自己的感受不一样的想法。就好像，当你口渴到极点时你喝下去的水会感觉到甜，虽然事实是什么味道也没有。这是一种欺骗行为，可是你并不知道。最后，当话语出口，你就会说这水很甜。
语言是一个好工具，我们需要它的帮助，却也无可避免的在用着它来撒谎。不过，我们听着这些谎言也不觉得有什么不妥，因为世上没有一个不是撒谎者吧！
。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。
今天这是最后一篇，因为明天就是我的生日了！(^ ~ ^) 我也真没想到，我竟能连续16天更新部落格，写下写下也不觉得每日一篇特别辛苦。这绝不是义务，而是要保持完美。本来11月1日那天差点就来不及更新，不过还好赶在11:58pm回到家开电脑，不然。。。我也不知道要怎样了。
2008年11月3日星期一
生日文15：精神出遊
我很爱做梦，无论何时何刻想或不想我都能作梦。梦境里，有天马行空的、也有很现实主义的；既有虚幻的也有周遭的人事物，过去的抑或现在的。当然，发白日梦也算是一种发梦，这我也很喜欢。有时，沉闷啰嗦的老师讲课不到十分钟，我就神游出去了。眼睛是望着他/她，想的却是别的事。我念中学时一大半的时间就是这样耗去。
发梦对我来说是必须，有时候为了继续发梦我还会躺在床上不愿起来。不舍得，那自身创造出来的东西。人们只用了大概十巴仙的大脑，其余的90巴仙都收藏在哪儿？我相信，这些都跑到了我们的潜意识里，而梦境就是其中一种把这个表达出来的方式。就好比说，这也可能和我喜欢看戏有关；我三不五十就梦到一部电影出来。在梦境里自己既是导演，也是观众，因为这个导演并不知道故事会朝哪边发展。我也有试过在梦境里讲着一口流利的英文，有一次还是日文！英文我哪能说的那样好，而日文我根本一窍不通。最厉害的一次，就是自己发明了一种语文；就好象有两个我一样，在梦里面的那个“我”说着自己明白的不知名语言，而睡着发着梦的那个“我”就不知所云。不过，这些都不是真的，只是在梦境里面。所以我才说，有时在真实世界我们办不到的东西，很奇怪，到了梦境里面自己就能实现了。~(v_v)~ 这不只是日有所思而夜有所梦吧？我所说的90巴仙的思维和创造力可能就在这里！换句话说，我们都不是自己想象的这样简单。
说到真实，我这个人有时还分不清楚幻想、梦境与现实。都说我喜欢发白日梦咯，那就称它为幻想吧！当我太沉迷于某个幻想或幻想维持太久，我就误以为我是在发梦。而当梦境里出现周遭的环境，我就可能误把它当作真实了。因为我爱做梦，所以我做很多梦；因为睡觉会做梦，所以我爱睡觉；总结来说就是，人生如梦，梦如人生。我一天的三分之一都在梦中度过，再加上幻想的时间，我不把它当真也难！因此，才会常出现这样的情况：我以为发生的事，问过身边的人后竟然没发生过。(* _ *)|||
再来，我还有一种情况，就是我刚刚进入梦乡时还是清醒的，或者说我往往一边发梦还一边听到外边的声音。一直都很不解的，直到听到上次那个辅导员提起清醒夢（Lucid Dreaming）。看了相关资料后，我就顿然大悟，心想应该就是这个。说个例子给你听，我一直都是搭公车去上学的，因而养成了在公车上睡觉的习惯。昏昏欲睡时，就会开始做梦，这不是幻想，是真的在做梦！然后就是一面发梦，一面听到周围的吵杂声。(v ~ v) 很不可思议吗？我不知道你怎么想，不过我一直都是这样觉得的，直到知道有这么一回事后。
所以，我哪能分得这样清楚啊，都已经有够乱了！不过，我也从来不打算分什么的，这都是属于我的，我享受做梦就可以了。
2008年11月2日星期日
生日文14：繁文縟節
对我这种人来讲，那些烦人的一大堆规矩和手续是我最想避之则吉的。任谁都不喜欢这些东西，虽然我现阶段还少接触，不过已经有了以后想找个私人秘书帮我处理这些算了的想法。当然，这是不可能的，除非我一夜暴富。(> - >)|||
生活在这个世上，就无可避免的都要遇上这些恼人的东西。本身的第一次应该是12岁那年去出身份证，等了大半天才能盖个手指头印，然后又要等另外的大半天去拍照。(> ~~ <) 什么嘛！办事效率简直可以拿去跟乌龟赛跑了。除了身份证，每个人的人生当中还要碰上数也数不清的这些手续。办银行户口、办护照、买保险、买车子、买房子、报案、住医院等等，无不要通过手续这条通道才能到达目的地。
这很浪费时间与精力，我宁可把我的时间用在其它浪费时间的事情上也不要为了这些费心。虽然现在很多手续都简化了，而且还有互联网，的确方便很多。不过，我对〈繁文缛节 = 烦 + 浪费时间 + 浪费精力 + 低效率〉的观念已经根深蒂固，根本就是不到最后一分钟都不想去理的心态。
就好象上次我的身份证连同钱包被人偷了，大家，这是好消息！因为我终于去办了身份证！(^ 0 ^) 哈哈！足足拖了大概有五个月的时间才舍得去出，还真是没有人敢像我这样。的确比我想象中的快很多，连同驾驶执照才用了我两个小时多。可是，我还是那一句，不是非要等到最后一分钟我不想把时间浪费在这些事情上！
P.S. 各位，如果被人偷了钱包连同身份证一起不见了，记得去报案时在报告上一定要有“偷”(curi) 这个字眼，不然出身份证时可是会被罚钱，无论你有报案与否。我就是白白浪费时间去报案还要给罚款的那个，早知道就不用去报案了。都说最最讨厌这些了！
2008年11月1日星期六
生日文13：記憶力
连续两天都写了忧郁悲伤的文章，还真有点不好意思。的确写得有点过了头，有些话可能只是当下的感觉，毕竟我的记忆力有限，昨天写的今天就可能忘了。
我自认记忆力不好，时常把自己讲过的话忘得一干二净。别人说，你上次不是说过吗？我就会说：“有吗？” 我看书看很久，除了需要时间好好消化那些文字，就是因为怕看太快我会忘了我看过什么。所以，一直都很羡慕有些人过目不忘，还能倒背如流，如果我能这样，考试就科科拿一百分了。
我和朋友说，我童年发生的事都不记得了。其实，也不是全都不记得，只是有些零碎片段，这些也只占了童年记忆里的大概十巴仙而已。不要说童年，中学甚至一年前发生的事，我也记忆模糊，都不知道我日子是怎么过的。
不过很奇怪，我却是时常提醒别人的那个。有时别人忘了什么或别人讲过什么，都是只有我还记得，然后他们就会好像我这样的反回头来问我：“有吗？” 我想，我的记忆既不是长期记忆也不是短期记忆；因为我的记忆里根本记不起N年前的事，不过又不会只记得那短短的十几秒就忘了。那，这是什么？
以前的我，还很清楚记得好朋友说过什么话，可是现在我的这种能力好像衰退了。这是真的衰退？还是像我上次讲的那样，我没有那么执著了？对自身的记忆这么模糊，有时我真的很怀疑自己经历过的事是不是少得可怜。不过，我倒是很会浪费时间；别人一天当三天来用，我就刚好相反，把三天当一天来用。
还好，我很庆幸我其中一种记忆永远不会消失，那就是感觉。
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